Went on a steam train at the weekend from Kings Cross to LIncoln. At Kings Cross everyone was taking photos of the engine from the edge of the platform without any busybodies being there. Same when we got back to Kings Cross. Sadly, when we reached Lincoln, they had a male steward and a transport policewoman, who kept telling us to get back. As most of us were middle-aged or older blokes who'd probably spent half our lives on or near railways we just carried on for a while. But they then went into levels of hysteria that were beyond belief! It was though it was inevitable in their minds that at least 20 people would be killed imminently. What has happened to this country? What happened to "keep calm and carry on"? There were no fatalities or major injuries as it turned out.

It's just that those coming up from the South are intellectually a little more challenged so due diligence and a little extra care has to be taken to ensure you all return home safe and sound.

You need to be very careful standing so close to choo-choo trans Dally, if the hood strings on your anorak get caught on the door handles as it pulls away you'll be running down the track behind it all the way to Edinburgh.

But wouldn't that be the anorak manufacturers fault?
I can envisage him now, demanding directions from the locals to the nearest solicitors office once extricating himself at Waverley.

A couple of years ago we went into Comet to buy a vacuum cleaner and I was looking at one make and there was a small screw thread attachment on the top which I couldn't fathom out what it was so I asked a young assistant who said 'dunno, probably something to do with Health & Safety'. Amazing how many explanations have been covered by it.

~coffee splurts over desk~

What the wannabe officer of the Third Reich (although far too short) did not seem to understand as she marched up and down hysterically was that it was because she was in front of the engine and the assembled crowd were trying to take pictures without a person in the way it was her that was causing people to go closer to the tracks. I think she ought to be sent to on further health & safety training as her actions were in large part responsible for a potential incident!

Actually the whole episode says alot about current British life. The way people are allowed to take personal responsibility in the South, take riskks and ultimately drive the UK economy. Whereas the old driver of the economy in the North has become full of public "servants" fulfilling in some cases nonsense roles.

What do you think the average height of Hitler, Goering, Himmler, Goebbels and Bormann was?

Public ''servants'' are fooking garbage in the South as well as the North aren't they?
I mean, look how shabbily you and your offspring have been treated by your local NHS Trust?

It's the fear of being sued by some soft southern chancer who hasn't got the brain power to look after him/herself.

Are Hertfordshire girls still as fooking thick as the the three me and my two mates met in Ibiza in the late 80's Dally?