Re: Signs you are getting old : Thu Jan 17, 2019 9:49 am  

As most do the wife and I always buy one another a few surprises for each other at Christmas.

Anyway a few years ago the lead up to Christmas the wife said with a glint in her eye “I’ve got something great for your surprise this year, but it’s something that we can both use in the bedroom”

I thought WOW this is going to be great, I hadn’t been this excited for years, a few days before Christmas I said “Would it not be better if I opened my surprise before Christmas so the kids don’t see it?”

She replied “No they’re old enough to understand”

Oh well I tried and they were 17 and 15.

So the big day arrived and as usual I was last at the opening ceremony but it was finally my turn, I ripped the wrapping paper off like a man possessed, and there it was……………..a tub of anti-wrinkle cream!

Re: Signs you are getting old : Thu Feb 14, 2019 9:11 pm  

When my girlfriend’s student visa ran out and she asked me to fill in the marriage licence forms so that she can stay her - I realised I have underpants older than her

Re: Signs you are getting old : Thu Feb 14, 2019 9:15 pm  

Maccbull_BigBullyBooaza wrote:

When my girlfriend’s student visa ran out and she asked me to fill in the marriage licence forms so that she can stay her - I realised I have underpants older than her

In fact I’d already been married once when she was born ha ha.

Still fashions change don’t they? Cambodia wasn’t on the map in those days it was Thailand and Russia!

Re: Signs you are getting old : Sat Mar 09, 2019 10:04 pm  

When at the match and I heard somebody say "yes. over there, just behind the old bloke". So, I looked around to see where this old bloke was...and it then dawned on me! I was the old bloke.

Re: Signs you are getting old : Fri Mar 29, 2019 8:35 pm  

When you remember 2 divorces with both citing "he couldn't keep it in his trousers" and the current wife moaning all I do "is keep it in my trousers".

Mind you' you know the wife's getting old when you catch a verrucae from a tit helpful.

Re: Signs you are getting old : Mon Apr 01, 2019 3:12 pm  

"Signs you are getting old" appears to have become a Bernard Manning set-list.

Re: Signs you are getting old : Mon Apr 01, 2019 4:12 pm  

When you remember any set list by Bernard Manning

Re: Signs you are getting old : Tue Apr 02, 2019 9:22 am  

bren2k wrote:

"Signs you are getting old" appears to have become a Bernard Manning set-list.

Shurrup you Pinko ponce.

Re: Signs you are getting old : Tue Apr 02, 2019 11:21 am  

You know you’re past it if you still think brexit’s a good idea.

Re: Signs you are getting old : Sun Apr 28, 2019 8:14 pm  

Seeing a pair of roller skates in a museum, only to realise you had a pair as a kid.

They were hand-me-downs but...

Cracking skates though.