The RFL are delighted to announce a garden party on the lawns of Red Hall for true RL fans. Richard's leaving party will begin on Saturday 28th April. There will be a rigorous selection process for guests using the minimum criteria set out below.
You must own a tuxedo, and not just hire one. You can't borrow someone else's either
You must fawn over Richard Lewis in a written declaration in no less than a thousand words
You must pledge alegience to "The Great One" that remains (Mr Wood)
You must own a house valued at no less than £250,000
You must have an expanding waistline
You must wear a cap made out of celery
You must show yourself to be financially viable (even though you may not actually be this)
You must NOT have Santa deliver your RSVP