May I take this opportunity to remind everyone who is going on the annual outing to the big City that they need to be at their local public bathhouse for cleansing/de-lousing two hours before the tram departs. You will need a doctors certificate stating you are free from diptheria, smallpox, typhus, syphilis, yellow fever and the bubonic plague otherwise you will be turned away at the border.
A packed lunch will be provided consisting of:
Black pudding - 1 slice
Bread and dripping - 1 slice
Tripe - 3lbs
Hard Cheese - 1 hard to swallow lump
and sour grapes will be provided after the match.
May I remind you also that when travelling through Leeds it will be seen as offensive by the locals to do the following things:
Stare at motorised horseless carriages. (They are quite common here and it may be your first time seeing one)
Dribble
Point and say "ooh" when a flying metal bird goes over.
Smile (The residents of Leeds as remarkable as it sounds do posess more than two teeth)
Thank you for reading (listening to this being read out) this notice, now please enjoy our fair city.
Yours
Hubert Chuffley
Leisure and Tourism
Leeds City Council
