"I am Me, I am Free" "First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win." -Mahatma Gandhi...."Its not who Votes that count, It's who counts the Votes"
Fellow walking down the street feeling incredibly horny, decides to visit the local Prossy on the street corner, Gets there and goes up to her and says" I'm desperate for some action, but I've only a pound coin, can you help me"? Sure she says, " for a pound I'll drop my drawers and you can stick your tongue between my legs and enjoy yourself" So, down he goes, after a minute he swallows a piece of Potato, hmm he thinks, but as he's enjoying the experience, onwards to goes. After another minute, he swallows a piece of carrot, hmm he again thinks, but again he Carrie's on. Another minute he swallows a piece of meat.. so now he has to ask about this. He says to her" Only been at it for 3 minutes and I've swallowed a piece of Potato, then Carrot, then some meat..What's up?" She replies, " Oh that. Well the fellow before you, was sick"
A Yorkshire man's wife died, and he decides to have a simple headstone. It was just to have her name, the year she was born, the year she died, and the phrase 'Lord she were thine.' The stonemason agreed to make it, but the first time the man visited the grave he saw it read 'Lord she were thin.' He rang the stonemason and shouted 'you daft bugger, you left the e off!' The stonemason agreed to fix it. The man returned to the grave a week later, and it now read 'E Lord she were thin.'
A Yorkshire man's wife died, and he decides to have a simple headstone. It was just to have her name, the year she was born, the year she died, and the phrase 'Lord she were thine.' The stonemason agreed to make it, but the first time the man visited the grave he saw it read 'Lord she were thin.' He rang the stonemason and shouted 'you daft bugger, you left the e off!' The stonemason agreed to fix it. The man returned to the grave a week later, and it now read 'E Lord she were thin.'
E, that’s an old un, best told by the Barnsley Bard, Ian McMillan.