”It is with a heavy heart and a tear in ‘is ee that Bongser” yada yada...
Pappekak happens!
Firstly, for Gubbers (but for no extra points):
How much wood could a woodCHUCK CHUCK if a woodCHUCK could CHUCK wood?
WoodCHUCKs bear the zoological binomial of Marmota monax. Stay with Bongser here.
Saturday produced one less than surprising result, and another that caught all punters out. The bookies pre-match odds on a certain game (Bet365) were 10-1 against an away victory. Was there suspicious betting activity on unsaid match just before KO? Did a singe méchante risk a cheeky "monkey" against the odds? Bongser thinks we should know!
For yawl folk’s dope, there is a creature known in some foreign parts as a Canadian marmot (ossia Marmota monax). Just saying. Nothing relevant.
Well Rowls has shafted Leythe again. It’s Groundhog Day!
By a curious coincidence the groundhog bears the binomial of Marmota monax. Strange that, innit?
So, come Saturday night, there was much talk of fat ladies warming up (sounds much like any late Saturneet in Bent & Bongs!) Puccini wrote an opera called “Tosca” about a lady whose character is usually sung by a generously proportioned soprano. There is a homophone in Russian that is generally transliterated as “Tocka” (ТОСКА). The word is hard to translate but Bongser’s best stab is “an anguished, melancholy yearning”. Better still, “what we, most of us, were feeling as 3pm BST on Sunday approached”. Must suggest that to the lexicographers.
Come 4pm, the wobblesome wassock had warbled and Leythe were fated to become the first relatively high profile casualty of Nigel WoodCHUCK's (Marmite moanax's) ersatz expansionism.
Then a wonderful thing happened. The raggle-taggle team that Leigh managed to field did us, themselves and the shirt proud in the second half (once they’d learnt each other’s names) with a nilling by thirty. Life & Leyfe will go on (not Floria Tosca’s mind you as despite the popular maxim, it’s actually not over until t’fat wap is strawberry jam all o’er t’pavement – by that time she was).
Enough furtiwurgling about! To the scores:
All bar the heartstrong Bongser picked Toulouse as victors and both Pubbers & Charlie got off to a flying start with a correct margin of 26.
As abovementioned, The Trannies sold us all a pig in a non-pokemon in the later game.
Bar-Lon saw both Chas & ‘Tommers join Bongser in the way too hopeful lounge but Chuckles recovered with ANOTHER correct margin (32) in Fax-Roc. All correctly plumped for a Leigh victory.
Before the BBQ was taken into account, Charlie led with a very creditable 14, Pubbers was in lukewarm pursuit on 11, four others scored 10, Atomic got 8 and Bongser committed hari-kari (fell on his newly acquired Willy Dagger) with a measly 4.
BBQ? Well, his, his, his (Bongser’s equivalent of “my, my, my!) It would seem that folk are starting to catch on regarding B’s accumulative BQs. Bongser CBAed posting “you need do nothing, nada, zilch etc” but all bar two clowns posted the total of their predicted scorelines as their BBQ punts. One of those clowns (well known in Blackpudlia) Bongser thinks made an attempt to do the same but mis-tallied by two:
charlie caroli wrote:
Im a Clown, not a Maths teacher.
He posted the cited on February the 2nd this year.
More amusingly, Bongser’s hasty addendum was mis-tallied by the same margin (the actual total wouldn’t have been allowed as VL had already posted it). Bongser therefore picked up three more Grand Prix points than VL (sorry mate but God loves a #BeLeighver – another adage is that God protects children and drunks – and there ain’t a more puerile dipsomaniac than this poster)
All erred on the low side, but least so Zools (314 to the actual figure of 328). Chequered flag wafted in his direction first. Bongser dunno where your assegais have gone, Zools, but as you read this he bets that he knows your “pole position!”
Prior to the buried treasure being exhumed, here are this week’s placings:
Zulu01 truly in 01 with 36 (WWB of 25 atop, gives 61 for the week).
Pubbers 30
Vanners 23
Chas ‘n’ WLJ 21 apiece
Bonkers 20
Wanderers 19
‘Tommers 13 (resting on laurels?)
Right, first time capsule easily disinterred. 50 points to The Don Mon as the sole infidel. No points for the rest of us (including those no longer with us.)
Second set surprisingly easy too. All (including the by then proselyte, Wanderer, placed Leigh in the Mid8s. Not to be. All little ponies went to the knacker’s yard. Seven from nine went for Toulouse & London to fill two of the post Tranny spots. Cokey (come back, laddie) gets ten points along with the rest of the aforementioned. Charlie & Pubbers went for Fev rather than A.N.Other and get five points per flat-capita. Oodles of points on offer, boogah all taken whoam!
End of regular season standings? Yup, despite a howler of a round crushing his flowery garland we have a League Leader’s Shield Winner and our first heptacenturion (wave your willow wand even higher than Zulu01 – everybody distinguished by their full chosen title on this occasion). Ladies & Gentleman, give him the clap he so richly deserves, it’s.....
Atomic on 708
Wanderer on 665
Charlie Caroli on 662
The Publican on 648
Zulu01 on 611
Bent&Bongser on 569
Cokey on 468
westleighjim on 444
Vancouver Leyther on 401
Jack Diggle on 114
Leyther X111 on 98
SaBadSel on 22
There will be a hemi-demi-semi-quaver of an hiatus now as thine host works out who the heckers plays whom in the Poo-dull (or not so after recent events) Eights. Keep viewing!
