Good evening and welcome to this week’s edition of The Two Bees. And in a packed programme tonight we’ll be summarising the predictions from the Barrow match, exhuming some time capsules, naming our Challenge Cup Winner, meeting a lady that likes Nicholas Parsons and a parson that likes...



Leigh? Another win and a shut-out that no one called. But the renewed Nine all called the victory as indeed they did for similar results for both Batley (Bongser wonders which way they were playing in the first half) and Featherstone (‘Dale seemed to be making a dashed good fist of that for most of the match before being fisted towards the end).



Swinton against Sheffield mixed our drinks though:



https://www.youtubes.com/watch?v=yYb55tx-WK0



Five of the walkers called a Sheffield win. However, Zools, WLF, Charlie and a large, bare lady on the house went for a Swinny lifeline. Bongser continued on his lone quest to correctly call a Swinton draw. Flashscore (that doesn’t see the clocks in stadia) had an 18 all draw as [itheir[/i clock ticked over to 80 minutes. Bongser wasn’t counting his chickens but he did enumerate his eggs and then ended up making a chaysey omelette of the whole, sorry caboodle.



Pokemons therefore for Tommers, Vanners, Chayders, Wanderers & Pubbers. 20 points added on for that.



BBQ? All but WLJ went correctly for Leeds to prevail and so doubled their points. Interestingly, the only correct margins of that round were made in the bonus preds in which they didn’t count. Applause but commiserations to the big three that led us into this round.



Without further ado we go to that round’s scores. In reverse order:



WLJ on 7

Bongser, Chukkas & Zools on 14

‘Tommers, Vanners, Chayders, Wanderers & Pubbers on 29 doubled to 58 and a WWB of 25 for each to add to that. So that's a......Hold on, back in a minute.



Bongser’s daughters are in The Towers and have joined thine host, son jeunesse et sa pussy in taking their socks off, that their collaborative fingers, toes and claws might total les points des Pokiehommes. This is, after all, the digital age!



Right, Bongser thinks he’s got it. Oh, is that for him? Thank you. Same again, please.



83 apiece unless The Two Bees are very miss muchtaken – either one of these? Bravo!



Mi dates to come first (Bongser is a gentleman):



Chayders & Trotters on 139

Pubbers on 92

Vanners on 90

Tommers on 88

Chukkas, Zools & Bonkers on 70

Jacobus on 36

The Lady in the sack dress on a large brandy.



Tights at the top (like an old-fashioned bank robber before the in-crowd accessory of preferment became a ski mask), but pants at the bottom. Plenty changed this round, and the order for the next round (like Mr Barker’s) will probably change considerably.



GaryCooper8s:



Trotters on 804 (bat ‘n’ that)

Tommers on 796

Pubbers on 740 (bat)

Chuckles on 732

Zools on 681

Bonkers on 629

Vanners on 491 (this week’s biggest riser – barring the pole-vaulter yet to be mentioned)

WLJ on 480

Cokey on 468

Diggers on 114

LX111 on 98

SaBadSel on 22

The lady with the pink b00bs on a cider.



As for the disinterment of the time-bombs, there was only one still ticking as the CCup final played out. All bar Wanderer had chosen Saints to lift The Goblet Offiah. He, with Warrington was still in with a shout, but alas out with a whimper as it turned out. Damp squibs all round. Nul points.



Warrington again the bridesmaids, but brides to be were a feature of this round. Charles, we hope Dani is safely back in the WA postcode (sadly the Manchester Ship Canal's alongshore not painted blue and primrose), and Poster Q (who cannot be identified for legal reasons) we hope the giving away of your youngest daughter went better than the attempts to sell her on E-Bay.





Thanks to Zools for posing this week’s conundrums. Bongser would like to remind him of his (the very first) reply to Bongser floating the idea of a WPL. Should Heritage Nº I like to check it is on page one of this thread:







If only others had exercised your prudence (grammatically different from “You’re Prudence”), Dear.



Another jolly jeroboam jug of jumping Juniper Juice & Quinine, please. Still, all in attendance (not a bad turnout at short notice (Wanderer has since sent his apologies)), in due course, posted the requisite wild stabs in the dark.



So, to Old London Town where, lurking in the shadows, The Phantom Raspberry Blower was waiting to tattoo Bongser and others’ bodies with the image of a berry somewhat un-akin (no not doing Star Wars, Star Trek or ought like that this week) to a sloe.



Much was made in pre-match build up of Warrington’s “Flying Pig” but it turned out to be un cochon volant that struck first, Tierney touching down in the corner after only 1m 46s for the Targaryen Dragons. The scoring range was therefore ‘twixt 0 and 6 minutes. Nul points.



Pubbers gets 10 points for having the (non-Cheshire) Cats down as first scorers.



The Catalans still led at the change of ends and, encore une fois, only Pubbers nailed it. 5 more points for him and another very large G&T for Bongser.



Last score from Roberts of Warrington. Ten points to Charlie, Pubbers, Zools, VL and Bongser. Jonathan Davies did point out that The Beeb’s clock was not synchronised with the official clock. Bongser also had problems clocking the time as, being rapt by the closing drama, he only remembered his duties as Roberts was running back to his own half. Half? No make that a double. The time seen was 69:07 so (as he gets no further points either way) we’ll run with 69 minutes.



Atomic (72) 15 points

Charlie (71) 20 points

Pubbers (74) 5 points



With The Targaryans triumphing (will Bongser’s avatar outlive the climactic last season? No points on offer) only Atomic & Zulu picked up 5 points. They also both had a correct margin of 6 points (as curiously did VL who decided that Warrington would win by minus six – did you perchance use Zools’ post as a template and forget to edit in your own pred?

)



Can’t be bothered adjudicating on all that as whichever way we have a clear winner. On a rubella-esque 30 points it is The Publican who mounts the wooden hill of CCup glory. Marvellous!! Well done and Bravo, Sir. You’ll be, hopefully, taking care of the Lance Todd Trophy for the next twelve months (Wanderer, who was underneath the arch with Flanaghan & Allen yesterday) managed to have Gigot (two Gs and easy on the T – thank-you) presented with a cheap replica bearing the eponym “France Toad”



In other (very, very) late sporting news; just in from the Berlin Games; the East German pole-vaulting champion has suddenly become the West German pole-vaulting champion. Furthermore the world’s shortest high hurdler today shattered his personal best.



It’s goodnight from Bongser and it’s goodnight from him.



Goodnight!

Good evening and welcome to this week’s edition of The Two Bees. And in a packed programme tonight we’ll be summarising the predictions from the Barrow match, exhuming some time capsules, naming our Challenge Cup Winner, meeting a lady that likes Nicholas Parsons and a parson that likes...



Leigh? Another win and a shut-out that no one called. But the renewed Nine all called the victory as indeed they did for similar results for both Batley (Bongser wonders which way they were playing in the first half) and Featherstone (‘Dale seemed to be making a dashed good fist of that for most of the match before being fisted towards the end).



Swinton against Sheffield mixed our drinks though:



https://www.youtubes.com/watch?v=yYb55tx-WK0



Five of the walkers called a Sheffield win. However, Zools, WLF, Charlie and a large, bare lady on the house went for a Swinny lifeline. Bongser continued on his lone quest to correctly call a Swinton draw. Flashscore (that doesn’t see the clocks in stadia) had an 18 all draw as [itheir[/i clock ticked over to 80 minutes. Bongser wasn’t counting his chickens but he did enumerate his eggs and then ended up making a chaysey omelette of the whole, sorry caboodle.



Pokemons therefore for Tommers, Vanners, Chayders, Wanderers & Pubbers. 20 points added on for that.



BBQ? All but WLJ went correctly for Leeds to prevail and so doubled their points. Interestingly, the only correct margins of that round were made in the bonus preds in which they didn’t count. Applause but commiserations to the big three that led us into this round.



Without further ado we go to that round’s scores. In reverse order:



WLJ on 7

Bongser, Chukkas & Zools on 14

‘Tommers, Vanners, Chayders, Wanderers & Pubbers on 29 doubled to 58 and a WWB of 25 for each to add to that. So that's a......Hold on, back in a minute.



Bongser’s daughters are in The Towers and have joined thine host, son jeunesse et sa pussy in taking their socks off, that their collaborative fingers, toes and claws might total les points des Pokiehommes. This is, after all, the digital age!



Right, Bongser thinks he’s got it. Oh, is that for him? Thank you. Same again, please.



83 apiece unless The Two Bees are very miss muchtaken – either one of these? Bravo!



Mi dates to come first (Bongser is a gentleman):



Chayders & Trotters on 139

Pubbers on 92

Vanners on 90

Tommers on 88

Chukkas, Zools & Bonkers on 70

Jacobus on 36

The Lady in the sack dress on a large brandy.



Tights at the top (like an old-fashioned bank robber before the in-crowd accessory of preferment became a ski mask), but pants at the bottom. Plenty changed this round, and the order for the next round (like Mr Barker’s) will probably change considerably.



GaryCooper8s:



Trotters on 804 (bat ‘n’ that)

Tommers on 796

Pubbers on 740 (bat)

Chuckles on 732

Zools on 681

Bonkers on 629

Vanners on 491 (this week’s biggest riser – barring the pole-vaulter yet to be mentioned)

WLJ on 480

Cokey on 468

Diggers on 114

LX111 on 98

SaBadSel on 22

The lady with the pink b00bs on a cider.



As for the disinterment of the time-bombs, there was only one still ticking as the CCup final played out. All bar Wanderer had chosen Saints to lift The Goblet Offiah. He, with Warrington was still in with a shout, but alas out with a whimper as it turned out. Damp squibs all round. Nul points.



Warrington again the bridesmaids, but brides to be were a feature of this round. Charles, we hope Dani is safely back in the WA postcode (sadly the Manchester Ship Canal's alongshore not painted blue and primrose), and Poster Q (who cannot be identified for legal reasons) we hope the giving away of your youngest daughter went better than the attempts to sell her on E-Bay.





Thanks to Zools for posing this week’s conundrums. Bongser would like to remind him of his (the very first) reply to Bongser floating the idea of a WPL. Should Heritage Nº I like to check it is on page one of this thread:







If only others had exercised your prudence (grammatically different from “You’re Prudence”), Dear.



Another jolly jeroboam jug of jumping Juniper Juice & Quinine, please. Still, all in attendance (not a bad turnout at short notice (Wanderer has since sent his apologies)), in due course, posted the requisite wild stabs in the dark.



So, to Old London Town where, lurking in the shadows, The Phantom Raspberry Blower was waiting to tattoo Bongser and others’ bodies with the image of a berry somewhat un-akin (no not doing Star Wars, Star Trek or ought like that this week) to a sloe.



Much was made in pre-match build up of Warrington’s “Flying Pig” but it turned out to be un cochon volant that struck first, Tierney touching down in the corner after only 1m 46s for the Targaryen Dragons. The scoring range was therefore ‘twixt 0 and 6 minutes. Nul points.



Pubbers gets 10 points for having the (non-Cheshire) Cats down as first scorers.



The Catalans still led at the change of ends and, encore une fois, only Pubbers nailed it. 5 more points for him and another very large G&T for Bongser.



Last score from Roberts of Warrington. Ten points to Charlie, Pubbers, Zools, VL and Bongser. Jonathan Davies did point out that The Beeb’s clock was not synchronised with the official clock. Bongser also had problems clocking the time as, being rapt by the closing drama, he only remembered his duties as Roberts was running back to his own half. Half? No make that a double. The time seen was 69:07 so (as he gets no further points either way) we’ll run with 69 minutes.



Atomic (72) 15 points

Charlie (71) 20 points

Pubbers (74) 5 points



With The Targaryans triumphing (will Bongser’s avatar outlive the climactic last season? No points on offer) only Atomic & Zulu picked up 5 points. They also both had a correct margin of 6 points (as curiously did VL who decided that Warrington would win by minus six – did you perchance use Zools’ post as a template and forget to edit in your own pred?

)



Can’t be bothered adjudicating on all that as whichever way we have a clear winner. On a rubella-esque 30 points it is The Publican who mounts the wooden hill of CCup glory. Marvellous!! Well done and Bravo, Sir. You’ll be, hopefully, taking care of the Lance Todd Trophy for the next twelve months (Wanderer, who was underneath the arch with Flanaghan & Allen yesterday) managed to have Gigot (two Gs and easy on the T – thank-you) presented with a cheap replica bearing the eponym “France Toad”



In other (very, very) late sporting news; just in from the Berlin Games; the East German pole-vaulting champion has suddenly become the West German pole-vaulting champion. Furthermore the world’s shortest high hurdler today shattered his personal best.



It’s goodnight from Bongser and it’s goodnight from him.



Goodnight!

First of all a big thank-you to Sheffield & Dewsbury for jumping the gun.



At overly due notice, it wasn’t a bad turnout from the Walkers (that, it is true, do give you a few more crisps in every baaag – many a mickle maks a muckle!)







This is not the first time that Charles has mentioned gravy with reference to Bongser’s epicurean traits. The latter suspects that, the sadly absent, Cokey may have leaked an old PM (no not Pitt the Younger (oxymoron?) but a Personal Message) that described Bongser’s culinary experiment with topping babbies’ yeds wi’ sweet chilli sauce. No need to get Judge Rinder involved.



However, Bongser will present this week’s summary as Dave Gourmand, in first person!!



Good evening. I’m Dave Gourmand and welcome to “Modern Life is Goul-ash.” For those of you not familiar with the show, we have a studio audience and I give a Powerpoint presentation that demonstrates the – ash part of the show’s title. I click my lickle clicker thingy to move to or fro amidst these PPP’s. The subject matter is usually taken from social media or other websites. I always wear a check shirt and a beard that people might recognise me and I always experiment with my steak pud toppings unless the show’s legal advisers wag their fingers. Tonight, viewers, it’s fingers to them!!



Now I’ve been dredging the lower reaches of the internet and a certain site called RLFans.com has had me gripped. What a strange set of people. Mainly Northerners I suspect – possibly perfectly nice in their own way. One in particular is having issues with Modern Life. This (CLICK) is his avatar:











Now I don’t know about you but for me, should he look like said avatar, he must be a damned handsome devil. I digress. He attempts to run a Weekly Prediction League. He is first of all challenged by too much CBA syndrome from the particular forum, secondly too much beer and, secondly again, by his time-keeping! But he has other problems as I will now reveal.



There was, apparently, a media blackout at Hunslet’s home game on Sunday. Flash (aah-aaaaaah!) displayed the letters FRO that, when hovered over, self explained as “Final Result Only”. The Beeb webside showed neauwt-baht for the first forty odd minutes. The only previous media blackout that I recollect was during the storming of the Iranian Embassy in London back in the day.



Into the second half the BBC site then displayed the scoreline as 18-0 but qualified that in the small print by saying that the score at HT had been 18-6. Curious.



Here (CLICK) is a screenshot taken later that day/night that purports to show the final score:











Viewers with good eyesight will notice that Auntie still has The Lager Louts down for 6 at HT. Quel le phoque (what the seal, as they say en France!)





The title of Series II, Episode 6 of this show was, “Dat is Data Dat is”.



I note that Bongser endured similar tribulations earlier in the season as the BBC credited the wrong R. Bailey with, not just being on the pitch, but scoring!! What was the score? Modern life is Goul-Ash thought we should know (this third person thing is catchy B&B). Over to Flash (aah-aaaaaah!)







Specs on again folks. I don’t know what you lot think but to me that looks pretty much like Hunslet 48 - Skolars 12. This was borne out by the Huns’ twitter account (CLICK):







However rugby-league.com went with Dave Woods’ lot.(CLICK):







I don't know about you, but I pity poor Bongser, I really do.



Cutting edge journalism, rugby-league.com, copy from the unreliable BBC. Finally the BBC has now decided to concur with other sources (CLICK):







.....and, funnily enough so has Rugby-League.com (CLICK):







Viewers, everyone seems now to be in accord but you can have little idea of the learning curve that I (Dave Gourmand, who is not as experienced as his soundalike) have been on today. A hosting site required me to set up an account, emailed me a password the recollection of which would take a fellah that could summon Pi to a thousand decimal places. Chrome then asked if I wanted it to remember the password but didn’t have a button labelled DON’T ASK VLADY STUPID QUESTIONS!! RLFans seems not to accept pngs so I had to find another site that would.......Forget it.



Rant over. It’s way past time for summing up. If members of the audience reach under their seats, they’ll find an electronic device. Please copy & paste the below link into a new browser tab, press enter and then return to the studio (CLICK):



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSAd3NpDi6Qs



I’ve been trawling the sticky reaches of RLFans.com and there I’ve found what I call a “Found Poem” that I would like to perform for you now:



Eight in attendance, VL up to his old truancy tricks.



The Barrow vs Batley game resulted in an away win that was predicted by all bar Charlie. The game that must not be named was a big, fat wipe-out for everyone. Swinton beating Rochdale was foreseen by five members (losing out were Charlie, WLJ & Bongser).



Most played the percentages on the BBQ and were proved correct as there were no aggregate scorelines under 20 in the featured games. Charlie and Bongser (belting week for those two) thought otherwise. Five joint winners who each receive a further 25 points.



Mid8s standings (CLICK):



Wanderer on 174

Chayders on 147 (nice break, Sir)

Pubbers on 127

Tommers on 123

Zools on 105

Vanners on 90

Chukkas & Bonkers on 73

Jacobus on 44



Gaga Recuper8s (CLICK):



Trotters on 839

Atomic on 831

Pubbers on 775

Charlie on 735

Zools on 716

Bongser on 632

VL on 491

WLJ on 488

Cokey on 468

Jacky D’s on 114

LeytherX111 on 98

SBS on 22



Ladies & Gentlemen, you’ve been a lovely audience. I’m Dave Gourmand and I predict that both Vanners & Chayders will miss next Friday’s Sheffield versus Fev match.



Goodnight and I hope that I have proved that Modern Life is Goul....



.....ash!

First of all a big thank-you to Sheffield & Dewsbury for jumping the gun.



At overly due notice, it wasn’t a bad turnout from the Walkers (that, it is true, do give you a few more crisps in every baaag – many a mickle maks a muckle!)







This is not the first time that Charles has mentioned gravy with reference to Bongser’s epicurean traits. The latter suspects that, the sadly absent, Cokey may have leaked an old PM (no not Pitt the Younger (oxymoron?) but a Personal Message) that described Bongser’s culinary experiment with topping babbies’ yeds wi’ sweet chilli sauce. No need to get Judge Rinder involved.



However, Bongser will present this week’s summary as Dave Gourmand, in first person!!



Good evening. I’m Dave Gourmand and welcome to “Modern Life is Goul-ash.” For those of you not familiar with the show, we have a studio audience and I give a Powerpoint presentation that demonstrates the – ash part of the show’s title. I click my lickle clicker thingy to move to or fro amidst these PPP’s. The subject matter is usually taken from social media or other websites. I always wear a check shirt and a beard that people might recognise me and I always experiment with my steak pud toppings unless the show’s legal advisers wag their fingers. Tonight, viewers, it’s fingers to them!!



Now I’ve been dredging the lower reaches of the internet and a certain site called RLFans.com has had me gripped. What a strange set of people. Mainly Northerners I suspect – possibly perfectly nice in their own way. One in particular is having issues with Modern Life. This (CLICK) is his avatar:











Now I don’t know about you but for me, should he look like said avatar, he must be a damned handsome devil. I digress. He attempts to run a Weekly Prediction League. He is first of all challenged by too much CBA syndrome from the particular forum, secondly too much beer and, secondly again, by his time-keeping! But he has other problems as I will now reveal.



There was, apparently, a media blackout at Hunslet’s home game on Sunday. Flash (aah-aaaaaah!) displayed the letters FRO that, when hovered over, self explained as “Final Result Only”. The Beeb webside showed neauwt-baht for the first forty odd minutes. The only previous media blackout that I recollect was during the storming of the Iranian Embassy in London back in the day.



Into the second half the BBC site then displayed the scoreline as 18-0 but qualified that in the small print by saying that the score at HT had been 18-6. Curious.



Here (CLICK) is a screenshot taken later that day/night that purports to show the final score:











Viewers with good eyesight will notice that Auntie still has The Lager Louts down for 6 at HT. Quel le phoque (what the seal, as they say en France!)





The title of Series II, Episode 6 of this show was, “Dat is Data Dat is”.



I note that Bongser endured similar tribulations earlier in the season as the BBC credited the wrong R. Bailey with, not just being on the pitch, but scoring!! What was the score? Modern life is Goul-Ash thought we should know (this third person thing is catchy B&B). Over to Flash (aah-aaaaaah!)







Specs on again folks. I don’t know what you lot think but to me that looks pretty much like Hunslet 48 - Skolars 12. This was borne out by the Huns’ twitter account (CLICK):







However rugby-league.com went with Dave Woods’ lot.(CLICK):







I don't know about you, but I pity poor Bongser, I really do.



Cutting edge journalism, rugby-league.com, copy from the unreliable BBC. Finally the BBC has now decided to concur with other sources (CLICK):







.....and, funnily enough so has Rugby-League.com (CLICK):







Viewers, everyone seems now to be in accord but you can have little idea of the learning curve that I (Dave Gourmand, who is not as experienced as his soundalike) have been on today. A hosting site required me to set up an account, emailed me a password the recollection of which would take a fellah that could summon Pi to a thousand decimal places. Chrome then asked if I wanted it to remember the password but didn’t have a button labelled DON’T ASK VLADY STUPID QUESTIONS!! RLFans seems not to accept pngs so I had to find another site that would.......Forget it.



Rant over. It’s way past time for summing up. If members of the audience reach under their seats, they’ll find an electronic device. Please copy & paste the below link into a new browser tab, press enter and then return to the studio (CLICK):



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSAd3NpDi6Qs



I’ve been trawling the sticky reaches of RLFans.com and there I’ve found what I call a “Found Poem” that I would like to perform for you now:



Eight in attendance, VL up to his old truancy tricks.



The Barrow vs Batley game resulted in an away win that was predicted by all bar Charlie. The game that must not be named was a big, fat wipe-out for everyone. Swinton beating Rochdale was foreseen by five members (losing out were Charlie, WLJ & Bongser).



Most played the percentages on the BBQ and were proved correct as there were no aggregate scorelines under 20 in the featured games. Charlie and Bongser (belting week for those two) thought otherwise. Five joint winners who each receive a further 25 points.



Mid8s standings (CLICK):



Wanderer on 174

Chayders on 147 (nice break, Sir)

Pubbers on 127

Tommers on 123

Zools on 105

Vanners on 90

Chukkas & Bonkers on 73

Jacobus on 44



Gaga Recuper8s (CLICK):



Trotters on 839

Atomic on 831

Pubbers on 775

Charlie on 735

Zools on 716

Bongser on 632

VL on 491

WLJ on 488

Cokey on 468

Jacky D’s on 114

LeytherX111 on 98

SBS on 22



Ladies & Gentlemen, you’ve been a lovely audience. I’m Dave Gourmand and I predict that both Vanners & Chayders will miss next Friday’s Sheffield versus Fev match.



Goodnight and I hope that I have proved that Modern Life is Goul....



.....ash!