I don't know where I am with cycling right now. Let me summarise where I was a few months ago.
I've loved the sport for a long time. Fell out of love with it in the mid 90's and the Lance Armstrong years because of the doping that was going on. I fell back in love with it when I bought a road bike again 6 years ago and I'm once again a fully fledged cycling nut. I believed that cycling was a lot cleaner than it had ever been and that the authorities were doing as much as they can to stop cheating......
Where am I now?
The USADA evidence backs up my thoughts and feelings towards the decade where I gave up on cycling. Doping programmes organised by teams where they were pretty much 'all at it'.
But these people who doped are still involved in our sport. Some are still racing. What I'm most scared about though is the young cyclists coming into a system where the DS's, Team Managers and Soigneurs have doped in their past. Some of them have been honest and come clean. Some of them have been honest and not accepted any fault. Some of them still deny the fact they doped even when they were caught. Some of them got lucky and have not been caught.......yet.
But all of them are in charge of young riders desperate to make it into the big time. Some of them will be lucky enough to sign for Garmin and have Vaughters. Some of them will be unlucky to sign for Saxo/Astana etc etc. I've lost all respect for Riis who claimed to have come clean in his book but it is now clear he only told us half truths.
Even Sky have not come out of this smelling or roses. Sean Yates must go, the Leinders affair showed how impossible it is to be a 100% no doping history team.
I fear that we are believing the riders too much who are claiming to be clean now. I'm disgusted by how few of them have come out and said 'The USADA stuff is all in the past, nothing to do with me' instead of saying 'We must drive doping out of this sport'.
I'm disgusted by the UCI who police and promote our sport and appear to have made judgements based on someones star rating as to whether they get popped for a positive.
Where do I want to be?
I want to believe that we have a sport that is clean. I'm not too daft to know that it will never be 100% clean. There will always be someone prepared to cheat and I believe other sports have just as much to hide (in some cases a hell of a lot more - including rugby league).
I need the current crop to spit on the memory of cyclists of the past. They were all at it in once way or another but the last few decades have been particularly dirty. Instead they insist on paying homage to the past champions and that leaves a nasty taste in my mouth. To me it sounds like the chat of someone who knows that they themselves are taking undetectable 'advantages'.
Cycling needs root and branch reform. My preferred option would be life bans for anyone caught/admitting/being complicit in doping. That includes riding, managing, massaging, bike mechanics, bus/car drivers, helpers, UCI officials, UCI Presidents etc etc. EVERYONE!
However I fear that will be impossible.
Perhaps I just need to start hearing the majority of the peloton talking down the achievements of the riders of the past. Perhaps I just need to see some strong management from the UCI and maybe them admitting to their mistakes and corruption. Perhaps I need to see Teams not appointing unrepentent dopers into Team Manager positions.
Perhaps I'm about to fall out of love with cycling again. Perhaps I'm just getting caught up in the media frenzy and questionning too much?
But if I'm questionning where I am right now then I'm sure other far more important people than me are. The sponsors must be asking questions about whether they have been lied to. We could see a big downturn in cycling after a few years of it being on the rise.
