Date: November 2022
Place: Adam Pearson's plush office suite
Scenario: First meeting between Hull Fc owner and his newly appointed coach.
AP: Welcome to Hull Fc, Tony. I thought I'd take a few minutes to outline where this club is going and how I see your role over the next two/three years and your part in the masterplan.
TS: I'm all ears Adam.
AP: I've appointed you to run this club into the ground, to turn it into the laughing stock of rugby league, to raise the level of on-field ineptitude and incompetence to previously undreamed of heights, or depths as the case may be! How does that sound to you? I'll pay you well, of course, whilst you are busying yourself with this mighty task!
TS: I think that could be well within the scope and range of my current abilities, consider me onboard. Will I be paid monthly or do I get a year's salary in advance?
AP: Whichever you prefer, Tony. Now, the thing is, this is to be a little secret between the two of us. No-one else is to be made aware of the masterplan, especially those ten thousand or so 'loyal' supporters, I don't want them to get wind, in the slightest, of what you and I are attempting to pull off, understand?
TS: Absolutely, boss, I'll trot out the old 'we're changing the culture routine' every week, that'll keep them all quiet.
AP: Perfect, I love it!! It's just that supporters have a habit of asking petty questions whenever the club happens to go on one of their fifteen game losing runs. I get sick of having to listen to all of their whining and complaining, I gave them two cup wins you know, what more do they want.
TS: I know, boss, you beat me to get the first one, remember!!
AP: Ah, yes, I do remember, now you come to mention it. Heady days, eh!! Well, that was then and here is now. Shall we get started on our little 'project', then?
TS: No time like the present, boss, I'll get the 'project' started right away, once I've made a call to my trusty side-kick, Sargent Stanley, he's just the man for a 'project' of this magnitude.
AP; Perfect, and remember, mum's the word!!
So, the scenario above. Is it fiction or fact? You decide 'loyal' supporters!
I've come to the conclusion now, that we are in such a mess, seemingly so directionless, and have turned ourselves into such a laughing stock that virtually everyone is fully expecting to take another fifty-point hammering (at least) on Friday.
It has to be, in my eyes, a deliberate plan to run the club down to a state whereby it's only fit for the knackers-yard! This level of incompetence doesn't come about by accident, it takes a tremendous amount of hard work to dismantle an historic club to this degree, only the gifted are capable of achieving this to such a stunning degree of success.
(I think the hemlock and cyanide might be starting to have an effect on my grey matter!!)