Budgie owd cocker - you need to have a look at scabbs posts these last twelve months and that will give you a grounding into
a) his gross inabilities to post wind ups
b) his lamentful prose
c) his indentify crisis
d) his compulsive neurosis
e) and here's the best one.....the sheer delight he creates by giving us all something to laugh at when he posts his woeful diction.

He's kept me cheerful this week has Alan!! it's his birthday tomorrow ya know Budgerigar!! He'll be sat waiting for the postman coming