Sir Alex Ferguson is walking along the touchline, when a woman sticks out her arm and asks him to sign it. Fergie goes 'yeah sure', signs her arm and carries on.
Then a woman lifts up her shirt, gets her breasts out and asks 'can you sign my breasts please?'. Again, Fergie says 'yeah sure', signs away and moves on.
Then a woman jumps out in front of him, strips naked, spreads her legs and asks 'can you sign it please?'
Fergie replies 'sorry love, you've got the wrong guy. It's Benitez who signs the c*#ts'.